Dear Manufacturers, A Satire

I am sorry to be the one to inform you that the purpose of packaging is to protect the product, and to deter shoplifters. Its purpose is not to prevent consumers from using it. Packaging shouldn't deceive the consumer either. Let me give you a few examples of both. Manufacturers 0, Consumers 0.

Opening Packaging Issues:

We'll start with your 'plastic' clamshells. Making your clamshells out of bulletproof acrylic and then welding them closed, defeats the purpose of selling products to consumers. If they can't open it, they can't use it.

I purchased an adapter for my computer in one of your ubiquitous clamshells, at the same time I just happened to see a clamshell cutter right next to it. I decided that I didn't need to pay an additional $19.95, so I paid for my adapter and headed home. Needless to say, I couldn't use my adapter, because I couldn't open the clamshell, even with a pair of tin snips! So, I trudged back to the store plunked down the $19.95 and headed back home. I was sure that I would now be able to tackle the clamshell and use my adapter. Well, I couldn't have been more wrong, an hour later, even after running over the Super Duper Clamshell Cutter's clamshell with my car, I still couldn't open the Super Duper Clamshell Cutter's clamshell! So, I took both packages back to the store to get my money back. No dice, the store said that the packages were too damaged for them to accept. So, now I was $30 and half a tank of gas poorer. Although I made the gasoline company happy my computer was still missing its adapter and very unhappy. Manufacturers 2, Consumers 0.

I read an article the other day that stated that the US Air Force was going to test using glue to hold their fighters together instead of rivets, and nuts and bolts. They thought that would make the fighter lighter and more maneuverable. Well, I just happen to know the perfect glue for them to use! They should use the glue that Cereal Manufactures use to glue their box top flaps together. That glue will glue anything together and never fall apart. I have five or six boxes of cereal in my cupboards with no tops, because I was unable to open the flaps without tearing the tops of the box completely off. However, the boxes may be open, but their flaps are still happily glued together. Manufacturers 3, Consumers 0.

Unfortunately, for the consumer, the Cereal Manufacturers didn't stop there. Nope, they decided to place their prized cereal into a rip, tear, and puncture proof bag and then heat seal the top. So, okay I now have my box of cereal 'open' and it is time to open the bag and pour the cereal into the bowl. This is a brand-new cereal that I am really anxious to try, Peach Flavoured Toasted O's. I love Peaches and I love Toasted O's so why not. I then attempted to open the heat-sealed bag that was keeping the cereal fresh. I thought to myself, 'This should be much easier than opening the box, right?' I couldn't believe how wrong I was, no matter how I pushed, pulled or twisted, that bag stayed frustratingly closed!!! I decided to give it one more try before resorting to the scissors, because only wimps use scissors to open cereal bags. I definitely wasn't a wimp or, so I thought. In order to get a better grip, I pulled the cereal bag out of the box. I then grabbed a good section of the bag on both sides. I grabbed the bag in the center just below the heat-treated closure. I then took a deep breath, and then pulled mightily, and voila bag was open. However, the bag didn't just open, it opened explosively! My kitchen floor was now carpeted with Peach Flavoured Toasted O's! Manufacturers 3.5, Consumers 0.5. I opened the bag but couldn't use the contents, so I split the point.

Sneaky and Deceptive Packaging Practices:

A lot of you probably remember the days when Ice Cream was packaged in half-gallon round containers. Well, it seems that some manufacturers weren't happy with making six dollars for a half gallon of Ice Cream. So, they changed the amount of Ice Cream in the containers from two quarts to one and three-quarter quarts. A reduction of twelve percent. No problem right, well, unfortunately, they were still charging six dollars for the reduced size container. How did they get away with this without the consumers noticing? The short answer very sneakily. To start with they angled the walls of the container in slightly. That didn't give them quite the reduction in the size of the container that they needed. So, the next step was to raise the bottom up a bit creating more space at the bottom of the container and less inside the container. The changes were very subtle visually, so although the container looked the same size it was actually a pint smaller. So, unless you actually put an original half gallon/two-quart container next to one of the new one and three-quarter quart containers you would never have known the difference! Consumers gradually caught on to the deception, when someone just happened to read the whole label, and noticed the smaller size. A lot of consumers were pissed off when they found out about the deception, however, most of them just passed it off as inflation and the cost of living. Manufacturers 4.5, Consumers 0.5.

A few months later though things changed dramatically. The Ice Cream Manufacturers tried to sneak another huge price increase past the consumer again. Since it worked so well for them the last time they tried the same trick again! They cut the amount of Ice Cream down from one and three-quarters quarts to one and a half quarts. However, this time they wouldn't get away with it. After the Ice Cream Manufacturers fooled the Ice Cream consuming consumers the first time those same consumers became more aware of what they were purchasing. They caught on very quickly this time. Cutting the amount in the container by another pint, this time caused a more drastic reduction of containers size. It was really obvious that something was up. Those manufacturers might have gotten away with it if they had lowered the price slightly. However, they didn't do that they were still charging the same six dollars only now it was only for a quart and a half. That was an extra dollar and half in those manufacturers' pockets. This time though consumers said enough is enough and stopped buying as much Ice Cream as before. Most of the Ice Cream Manufacturers relented and dropped their prices. Manufacturers 4.5, Consumers 1.5.

However, that wasn't manufacturers most deceptive sneaky tactic. Their next tactic was even sneakier than shrinking the packaging size; unless your grocery store uses per unit pricing or you shop with a calculator you would never be aware that you were being ripped off. The tactic was and still is simplicity itself; for this example, we will use Gourmet Hot White Chocolate. What the manufacturers do is take their second label or store brand and fill the same size container as the major name brand with between two thirds to three-quarters of their product. Then they attach a much lower price to the product. If you purchase only by the price you are going to get ripped off! Why, simple the price per ounce for the name brand product is significantly lower than the second label or store brand product. Manufacturers 5.5, Consumers 1.5.

I am sure that there are many more deceptive issues between the evil manufactures and we the consumer, however, these are all I can think of for now.

I will close by saying

 'Caveat Emptor'!

Author's Notes:

This little sarcastic rant or diatribe has been floating around in my head for quite a while and I finally decided to put it down on 'paper' so to speak. Is this Fiction or Non-Fiction, for the biggest part it is Non-Fiction, with a little bit of poetic license or stretching of the truth included. If you have more issues that you would like to add drop me an email to The Story Lover.

Have a wonderful life,

TSL

Darryl's Notes:

I can add a couple more examples of deceptive packaging.

Bag of potato chips; way back when... you could buy a bag of chips that contained a pound of chips, I don't remember the price, but the point is that you can now buy a bag that is the same size, but now it contains less than 12 oz of chips, for the equivalent price as the original bag.

Orange juice comes in what looks like half gallon cartons, but instead of containing a half gallon of juice, they now hold around 54 ounces, isn't that lovely? A 1 pound can of coffee, not anymore! Try less than 12 ounces in that same size container. 

I think the ice cream containers hold even less than TSL's example, since now they also round the corners of the slanted container with a rounded bottom that reduces the dimensions of the container still further.

Even facial tissue has been downsized, the box is the same size, but there is almost an inch of empty space at the end of the box that used to be filled end to end.

Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher

Author's Update:

I have already started working on Volume Two and I will include The Radio Rancher's comments as well as comments from Art West.

TSL