The Hidden Past

"Adrian, it’s time to eat!" my mother called through the house.

Hello, my name is Adrian Simons. I lived in the city all my life, but my parents decided, to move to the country, thinking it’ll be better to raise me. But you know the drill, I lost most of my friends and I had to start in a new school. On the bright side, they decided to move in the summer, so I didn’t have to start a new school in the middle of the year. I was lonely and I had no friends.

 "Adrian, come eat!" my mom called again.

"I’m coming, Mom," I shouted back from my room, getting up to head to the kitchen.

"What is that smell?" I asked, peeking into the kitchen.

"It’s your favourite meal," she said. "Don’t forget to wash your hands."

"Oh cool!" I exclaim. I love a lot of food, but she sometimes tried to make surprise meals. She just looked at me and sternly pointed to the bathroom. So, I went to wash my hands.

"So, how was school today?" she asked without looking as I came back in the kitchen, taking my place at the table.

"Bad, I don’t know anyone there and it’s boring," I frowned.

"You should try to speak to other kids at school; you’ll make more friends that way honey."

"I know, but I’m very shy and you know it," I said before shoving a spoonful of food in my mouth.

Did I forget to mention that I’m shy?

"At least try a little. You might be surprised by how easy it can be," she said smiling softly at me.

We made small talk for the rest of diner time. Afterward we did the dishes together, without her even asking me for help. I know its hard work to make each meal, so I help her do the dishes. When we finished the dishes, we both headed to the living room to watch some TV. An hour later I decided to go read a little on my computer in my room.

It was almost 9:30 when I decided that I should go to bed; I always liked to go to bed early, that way I’m less tired in the morning. After my bedtime ritual, brushing my teeth and kissing my mother good night, I went to bed. When I was comfortably under my covers, I started playing softly with my stiffy, imagining another cute boy doing it to me. I had found that I usually think about other boys instead of girls. I knew I should be thinking about girls, but I never found them to be attractive. I felt my body stiffening, it just felt so good; after coming down from my blissful state I reached for the tissues and wiped myself clean. I fell asleep really fast afterward.

My mom woke me up in the morning, telling me to get a shower before coming down to eat. As usual, I woke up with a boner. I really didn’t want to get up with my mom in the room, as if any teenager would parade boned up in front of his mother, I mean it would really be embarrassing.

"OK Mom, I’ll go but... can you kinda leave my room so that... umm... I can get up?" I asked her.

"Oh sorry. I’ll leave, but you should know it’s completely normal at your age." I was blushing so much I thought I’d burst out into flames from embarrassment. "You are so cute when you blush like that," she added, then left my room before I exploded.

"MOM, PLEASE!!" I yelled, trying to hide under my covers. I mean, do all mothers do it on purpose to embarrass their sons like that? After about five minutes of hiding, I got up, taking my school clothes to the bathroom and hopped into the shower. I adjusted the water at a comfortable temperature and soaped my body. I always loved the feeling of the hot water on my body, especially in the morning. After finishing my morning ritual and dressing for the day, I ate my breakfast and gathered all my things for school. My mom came near me and planted a kiss on my forehead.

"Mom, I’ll be late," I wined, like most teenagers would. Did our mothers know that we secretly loved the attention?

"So go and don’t be late." She grinned at my antics.

I put on my shoes and headed to my bus stop. It was October and the cold of winter wasn’t here yet, so I just grabbed my coat and put it on loosely. The bus arrived with its usual screeching noise. I got in and sat in the middle like I usually did. The bus ride wasn’t that long. I lived about ten miles from the school, so my bus stop’s the last one in the morning and the first one in the afternoon. It was basically just enough time to watch the scenery go by the windows.

The bus arrived at the school early enough to give us time to chat and fool around a little before the start of the classes. I needed to finish some of my work, so I decided to go to my locker to put all my other schoolwork and bag in, not wanting to carry everything with me all day.

As I was going up the stairs to my class, I felt my foot losing its grip and me starting to fall backward, but before I could even prepare to hit the floor, I felt someone putting his hand on my back to help me stabilize myself. When I gained enough balance to stand on my own, I turned around to look at my helper. I was taken aback when I saw him; he was so gorgeous. He stood a little taller than me, with light brown hair and killer dark hazel eyes, so dark they were almost black.

"Careful, little dude," he chuckled. At least that got me out of dreamy state.

"Thanks, but umm... I’m not little," I replied, mentally kicking myself.

"Sorry," he grinned. "The name’s Jeremy, what’s yours?" he asked, sticking his hand out for me to shake.

"I’m Adrian." I shook his hand. His skin was so soft, yet he had a firm grip.

"Cool, but umm... can I have my hand back please?" he said grinning. I realized I was still holding his hand after almost a minute. Talk about first impression, I’m so lame.

"Hey, aren’t you in the same class as me?"

"Yeah, I think I am," I replied as we began walking to our first class.

We spend the few minutes before class chatting about the homework and other various subjects, the bell rang we took our seats and the teacher came in the classroom and started doing the attendance call. The first class of the day started and, as usual, it was one thing— boring. OK, it wasn’t really that bad, but I never really liked History, so I just did what I usually do and started daydreaming. When the class was over, Jeremy came to my desk waving his hand in front of me telling me to wake up. It did sort of startle me a little.

"Earth to Adrian! Wake up dude, class is over," he laughed.

"What... Oh sorry, I guess I was somewhere else."

"I’m sure it was better than here," he said. "What’s your next class?"

"Geography, I think," I answered, getting up and gathering my books on my desk.

We walked out of the classroom heading toward our lockers. I noticed that his was very close to mine, only about seven or eight to the left. I checked my schedule inside my locker door and saw that, indeed, I had Geography just after History. I grabbed all my necessary gear for that class and headed for the lunch area and bought a can of soda from one of the machines. I opened it slowly being careful not spray myself with it and ruin my day.

I guessed it was meant to be a bad day, because when I lifted the can to my mouth to take a sip, one of the seniors passed by and jostled my arm, thinking it might be funny, and splashing my t-shirt. I was pissed, to say the least. Why do they always have to act like some fucking four-year-old?

Jeremy saw what happened and came to me. "You okay?" he asked. "That asshole thinks he owns the school just because he’s older."

"Yeah, I know," I replied, boiling inside.

"Oh well, come with me. I keep an extra t-shirt in my locker for occasions just like this."

I followed him to his locker; he opened it and pulled out a dark blue t-shirt. "Here, this should fit you. It’s a little small for me now so you can keep it," he said, passing it to me and grinning. I pulled off my soda-stained shirt and slipped on the one he passed me.

"Thanks," I said dryly, before the bell rang announcing the start of the next class. We parted and he shouted to meet him at lunch. On my way to my next class the music-theatre teacher was passing by and asked me if I would like to be in the upcoming play at school. I told him I would think about it but being shy I didn’t know if I could stand on stage in front of the whole school, and I’m sure it would certainly kill me. Dodging the bullet this time, I told him that I need to get to my class before I’d be late.

I loved Geography, and the class seemed to fly by. The lunch bell rang, I grabbed my stuff and headed to my locker to put everything away and grab my lunch money. I heard my name being called over the noise of the lunch crowd, and finally caught sight of Jeremy. I managed to work my way over to him through the large crowd of laughing and chatting students.

"Hey Adrian, how’s it going?" he asked me when I managed to get close enough.

"Better, sorry for earlier, I was kind of pissed." I told him.

"Ah it’s nothing, dude. I’d be pissed too," he laughed.

We worked our way through the lunch line, found two empty seats and started eating our lunch, all the while chatting about nothing in particular. After we finished our meals and returned our trays, we headed out for some fresh air until the afternoon class bell rang. We met one last time that day at the afternoon break, chatting a little more and goofing around. The rest of the day was pretty much uneventful.

A few weeks passed; Jeremy and I continued meeting for lunch and break. As we were heading to a lunch table, Jeremy pulled on my shirt, motioning to me to follow him. Once outside, we started chatting about what most teenage mostly talk about.

Before we got up to get ready for the next class, he asked me, "Hey Adrian, how would you like to come to my house after school?"

"Yeah sure, that’d be cool," I replied, as we heard the first bell calling us.

We parted and headed to our next class. The rest of the day was normal, or, to say the least, boring would be the right word. When the final bell of the day rang, I headed to my locker to get my homework for the evening. When I got on my bus, I saw Jeremy chatting with some other students. Before I could sit down, he caught my eye and motioned me to sit next to him.

"Hey Adrian, how was your last class?" he asked me.

"Well, it was, umm… Boring!" I replied grinning. He just smiled at me, but his smile was so beautiful it shocked me. I blushed and tried to hide myself in the seat.

"Hey, you OK? "He asked, seeing me blush.

"Hmm yeah, sorry," I answered with an embarrassed smile.

"OK and that was a really cute blush," he said, surprising himself. Now it was his turn to blush.

That comment just confused me, more than anything, but Jeremy just made a funny face, making me laugh and the confusion was gone. The bus growled to a stop; as I started to get up, Jeremy followed me out of the bus. He lived about three streets from my house, we decided to drop my school stuff at my house, and then just walk to his. As I dropped my bag on the floor of the foyer, I yelled to my mom that I was going to a friend’s house.

"OK Ady, but be back for diner, you know what time," she shouted through the house, surely very happy that I finally found a friend.

I closed the door and turned to follow Jeremy, who started walking back down the sidewalk. He grinned widely over his shoulder and asked, "Your mother called you Ady?"

"Yeah, I don’t mind it when she calls me that, but just not in public." He just looked at me and laughed, I was blushing again, and he could see it clearly in the afternoon sunlight.

"Hey, don’t worry," he said laughing, "I think it’s cute."

"Ah, stop it, you goof," I said, blushing yet again.

We talked about anything and everything while walking the five minutes it took us to get to his house. We arrived and went directly up to his room. Jeremy put his stuff in one corner and casually changed his school t-shirt. I tried not to watch, but he was almost perfect. Just the right skin color and while not really muscular, he almost had a six-pack, well, call it a four-pack. His armpits, along with the rest of his body – that I could see, were almost hairless, just like me. He was so gorgeous that I was almost drooling just watching him.

"See something you like?" he asked with a strange grin, catching me staring open-mouthed at him.

"Yeah, err. I mean, shit." I thought my world was going to come crashing down after that, but he just looked at me and his grin widened. Still smiling – and shirtless, he moved closer. As he got closer, I was able to see that his skin was nearly flawless, and it looked so smooth. I knew he saw me looking at him again, but he just grinned and moved even closer. I wanted so badly to just touch him, to feel his warm, smooth skin with my hand.

"Hehe, you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost or something," he said, pulling me out of my dreamy state. I just looked at him in shock, almost terrified.

"Sorry… I… I should go," I mumbled stuttering and turning to leave, but he stopped me from turning away.

"Why? Did I do something wrong?" he asked.

"No, not you, I mean... it’s me, I think," I whispered, looking down at the floor.

"What’s wrong?" I could hear his smile fading.

"I… I… you’ll hate me if I tell you," I said, still looking at the floor. I was going to head for the door, and safety, but he sidestepped in front of me, blocking my escape.

"Please… I could never hate you. Tell me what’s wrong, please?" he asked softly, almost begging me. Jeremy started to move even closer. His nearness made me even more nervous and stiff from fear. Now, I just wanted to get out of this embarrassing situation, so I just told him the truth.

"It’s… it’s you," I said, my head still bowed. I could feel his stare. After a few moments of silence, I risked raising my head to look at him.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, looking into my eyes. I’ll remember those eyes the rest of my life, they were so sad yet deep in feeling it made my heart ache. All I could do was to stare in those beautiful dark eyes, unable to answer. I wanted to tell him that he looked so perfect, so good-looking, but I was too afraid. What if he hated me for that?

"I… I mean not you… I mean… damn it." I dropped my eyes again, unable to meet those deep, dark eyes any longer. I was shaking like a leaf, tears threatening to fall. Then to my surprise, Jeremy grabbed me and hugged me. I was shocked, yet in heaven—I wanted so badly to just kiss him—but how could I ever tell him that? He was still holding me, my forehead resting on his chest, while he softly rubbed my back. I’m sure he could feel me shaking.

"Please… tell me what is wrong. Did I say something wrong?" he whispered pleadingly.

"No… no you didn’t, it’s…" was all I could get out. He pushed my head softly away from his chest, using his hand to tilt my head back until I was once again starring into his eyes. I struggled to look away, but he kept a firm yet soft grip.

"Please, Adrian, look at me and tell me, please." He looked so sad to see me like that, I couldn’t take it anymore; I closed my eyes and told him.

"You look so gorgeous, so awesome and…" the words came out, but I couldn’t bring myself to finish my sentence, it was too hard for me to continue.

Jeremy hugged me again and asked, "What do you mean by that Adrian?"

Still being held I answered, "I mean you… I’m or… I think…" I couldn’t keep it in, so I just blurted out, "I think I’m gay!"

I started to shake harder thinking he would just beat me or something else. Receiving no answer from him, I pushed myself away a little. I was scared, but he looked me in the eyes and smiled that strange smile again. Then he leaned over and kissed me. I felt like I was going to faint, I couldn’t believe it! Jeremy was holding me and kissing me in his room! I felt a shock go through me like I just touched an electrical wire. It was unbelievable. Then he stopped kissing me and looked at me once more, I was in a dreamy state gazing back, looking deep in his eyes.

"Is that supposed to be a problem?" he asked me. I was in heaven. Instead of being mad or kicking me out of his house, he just kissed me. He was still looking at me with those eyes—those wonderful eyes.

"Sorry, I was... I mean… Oh God. I almost fainted. I was so scared and that kiss it was…" I was still in shock.

He just put a finger over my lips, stopping me from rambling and without a word he leaned against me and kissed me so softly it almost felt like a butterfly was touching my lips, it was short because it was interrupted by his mother entering the house calling to him.

"I’m in my room with a friend, Mom," he called back, letting go of me to put on a shirt. I didn’t even realize that he was still shirtless. We heard footsteps approaching the door.

"Well, I brought dinner," she said, standing in the doorway. "Oh, hello there, and what would be your name, young man?" she asked me, smiling.

"Hi, hmm, I’m Adrian." I was blushing again. "I think I should get going. My mom wants me home for dinner. Nice meeting you, Ma’am."

"Oh, OK then, don’t make your mom wait for you," she said with a smile, leaving the room.

"Adrian, I hope you’ll come back," Jeremy said softly.

"Yes, I’d like that," was the only thing I could say.

I gave him one last quick kiss before I darted through the door. I remembered his warm smile as I was running home, the thoughts of what had happened today spinning through my head. I arrived at my home just in time for dinner, when I opened the door, my mom called me.

"Ady, time to eat," she said, poking her head out of the kitchen doorway.

"I'm coming, I'll go wash my hands," I replied, running to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the cabinet mirror, touching my lips where Jeremy kissed me. "I don't believe it; that was so unreal," I thought.

"What are you doing? It's going to get cold," my mother called to me, startling me out of my daydreaming.

"Oh sorry, I'm coming," I told her over my shoulder.

"OK, but hurry up," she told me.

I got to the kitchen table, smelling the meal my mother just made.

"So how was your day?" she asked.

"It was good, Jeremy was…" I started to say.

"Jeremy? He’s the friend you were with this afternoon?" she asked grinning. I think she was very happy that I finally found a friend.

"Yes and he’s sooo cool." My mother rolled her eyes.

After we ate, we did the dishes together, me washing and my mom drying and putting them away. When we were done, we moved to the family room to watch the television, but my mind was on other thoughts. Getting me out of my dreamy state, my mom told me that she was going to bed and to not stay up too late. After watching some cartoons while doing my homework, I decided to go take a shower and go to bed myself. I got my shower stuff from my room. Adjusting the water to a good temperature then climbed in the shower. I washed myself completely, paying attention to my groin with the soap, thinking of the kiss that Jeremy gave me. I played with myself without realizing it until I felt my body tensing. Finishing my cleaning and before bed ritual, I got in my bed. Taking my boxers off, I slipped under the covers naked for the first time in my life, and it actually felt very good.

When I woke up in the morning, I could smell the breakfast my mother was making; you know, the smell of bacon and eggs in the morning that could wake up the dead. I started putting my clothes on and grabbing all my gear and homework. I went in the kitchen and sat at the table.

"Good morning sweetheart," my mother greeted me.

"Morning Mom, did you sleep well?" I asked her.

"Yes I did, thank you."

I ate my breakfast and got ready for school, but before I could go out, my mother told me that she was going to go do some shopping this afternoon and to grab my key before I went. I was out of the house in flash to join Jeremy waiting for me at the corner at our bus stop.

"Hey… We need to talk before we go to school," he told me. I was somewhat confused. What did he want to talk about?

"Sure, what's wrong?" I look at him confused, "Is something wrong?"

"No, well not really… it’s about yesterday, I shouldn’t have um... kissed you like that." His voice was trembling.

"Why? It was amazing!" I was blushing now.

"You really don't mind about it?" His voice was filled with concern.

"No, I don't. Like I said, it was amazing, I was surprised at first, but it was cool."

He really looked relieved and calmer; now that he knew that I was OK with it. The bus came to a stop before I was able to say anything further, we climbed into the bus and sat together, and we chatted a little on the short ride to the school. In the school, while we were walking to our lockers, he asked me what my schedule was for the day; I had Math on the first period and PE on the second. He reminded me that he too had Math on the first period. I got my stuff for the class, and we headed to his locker so that he could get his stuff too. We walked to the classroom and saw that it was empty, no one was there yet, and he then turned grinning at me.

"Would you like to go to my house after school?" he asked.

"Well, my mother won't be home; we could go to my house," I replied a little excited.

"Hmm, that could be good too. Do you know when your mother will be back?" he asked me.

God, I was wishing that the day would pass very fast, but before I could answer him, the last bell rang, and all the other students started arriving in the classroom. He told me to meet him at lunch. The teacher then started the class and we all sat at our desks and began our work, I loved math, so the period passed quickly. After the class, Jeremy came to my desk while I was putting all my things in my bag, and he whispered in my ear that he would like to go to my place after school.

I got to my second class of the day. I had PE and Jeremy had another class, but he didn’t tell me what it was. We had stretching exercises to do for the first part of the class, for the second part, the teacher decided to make us play dodge ball. Because I was small, it was easy for me to evade the balls. After PE, it was lunchtime. I barely had time to put my stuff away and get to the cafeteria when Jeremy was calling me from the dining area.

"Hey Adrian, come on!" he shouted over the other students’ chatter.

I managed to go around the crowd of students in the hallway to Jeremy, standing near the food stalls, and we got in line in to grab something for lunch. I’m sure some of you know that the lunch they served in school was somewhat repulsive, but as teens, we could eat anything when we’re hungry. We found ourselves a place to sit and ate our lunch chatting with other students around us. After lunch we decided to go outside to take some fresh air. We headed for one of the far corners of the school where there was a little forest, and we decided to sit on one of the fallen trees.

"Umm, Adrian, it's a little hard for me to ask this," he started saying, a little uncomfortably.

"What's wrong?"

"Well… I wanted to ask you something." He spoke in a whisper.

"Adrian, do you like me?"

"Yes… I do... It's kind of weird… I never felt like that." I blushed. I said it before I even thought. "Yes, Jeremy, I like you."

"I like you too, Ady," he was blushing too. I seldom saw him blush before and it made him so attractive.

"Did you just call me Ady?" I asked him.

"Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to."

"No, it’s OK… I don't mind." It’s weird, but I really liked it when he called me that.

Before he could reply, we heard the school bell ring, telling us to go to our next class of the day.  I had Geography class in my third period of the day, so we both headed to our lockers, and I grabbed my books for this class. I saw that Jeremy took his outfit for PE; I guessed he had that class. The afternoon passed sort of fast, I never noticed the time. Then the last period bell rang, and we all headed out of school. I was approaching my locker when a senior pushed me, and I fell hard on the floor. I was a little stunned, but I could hear someone yelling my name.

"Adrian, are you OK?" I couldn’t recognize the voice; I think I hit my head pretty hard. After a few seconds, I was finally capable of recognizing Jeremy’s voice.

"Yeah, I'm OK... I was stunned when my head hit the floor." I was rubbing my head and I had a little bump on the back of my head. Jeremy helped me to get up and he walked with me to my locker. I opened my locker and put my stuff away and accompanied Jeremy to his locker. He looked at me and shook his head.

"A few weeks ago, I had to hold you from falling on the stairs and today… I found you almost kissing the floor, you blonds," he told me grinning, "Do you do it intentionally?" He was laughing.

"Hey, I was pushed down, don't make fun of me," I replied with a grin.

We headed to the bus and sat together for the short ride to my house. When we arrived, my mother wasn’t there yet, so we had the house to ourselves. I opened the door and saw a little note on the refrigerator it was from my mom, telling me that she needed to go to a meeting and that she’d be late.  So we headed for my room, I needed to change my clothes. I was surprised when I turn and saw that Jeremy was standing in the hall, out of my room.

"You can come in if you want to," I told him.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" he said with a small voice, barely audible.

"Why would I?" It was weird the way he became shy so suddenly.

He entered my room and sat on my bed. While I was taking off my shirt, I could feel his gaze. He was sitting cross-legged; I guess I had an effect on him. He got up and started out of my room. I followed him.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, fearing I did something wrong.

"Nothing, it's not you," he was very emotional. "I'm scared, Adrian, I'm scared of all this, I never felt like that..." He was very troubled, almost shaking. I never saw him like that; he was really scared.

"What is scaring you?" I asked, approaching him slowly.

"I just don't want to hurt you." His eyes were staring at the floor.

"What are you talking about? You are the most kindhearted person I know," I grabbed his shoulders and hugged him. He returned the hug after an instant.

"Adrian, I don't know how to do that," he was speaking in a low voice.

"Me neither, but we can learn together."

I grabbed his hand and pulled him into my room, I turned around to face him. I approached him slowly and kissed him and felt that shock going through my body; it was fantastic! We made out in my room for about 20 minutes. I change my clothes, but not without giving Jeremy a good show. Then we decided to watch a little television in the family room. We cuddled and watched the TV for about an hour. We heard my mother pull in the driveway, Jeremy got up as I did, and we both greeted my mother.

"Well, you must be Jeremy."

"Yes ma'am, I’m Jeremy." He looked a little uncomfortable.

"Well, don't stop doing what you two were doing," she said, as she walked out to the kitchen to start supper.

We sat back on the sofa and continued to watch TV, without cuddling, we both did not want my mother to know. After about a half hour, Jeremy got up and told me that he needed to go to his house for dinner. I accompanied him to the door, looking around to see that my mother was not watching, and I gave him a quick kiss before he left.

"Well, he looks very nice," my mother told me, surprising me.

"Umm, indeed, he is cool," I replied softly. She grinned, a weird grin, and walked back to the kitchen to finish the supper. I think she must have known something was going on, or I made it show, but she never made any sign of awareness.

To be continued...