I Can't Believe It

“What did he just say?” I asked Kevin, totally floored by what I just thought I heard.

“You know exactly what he said, Ronnie… he said he’s gay,” Kevin replied, a smirk on his face.

Bill has been friends with Kevin and me for his entire life. But for him to come out to us today, on his 14th Birthday, well… it kind of surprised me. Don’t get me wrong, if I had the balls to do what he did, maybe I’d have a boyfriend.

“I just can’t believe it, Billy. You don’t seem gay to me. I guess it’s not really that much of a surprise. I’ve known something was different about you, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.”

“So you’re not, like... mad at me?” Bill asked.

“Why would we be mad? You’re our best friend. You don’t just toss that out because your friend is different,” Kevin replied before continuing, “it wouldn’t be right for me, but... hey... whatever floats your boat, bro.”

Bill turned to me, waiting for my answer to his question. I looked over at him, then at Kevin. I’d planned on coming out at some point, but I don’t want to do it in front of Kevin... not tonight on the same day that Billy came out. I guess I could just wait until Kevin goes home. I guess he deserves an answer though... one directly from me, not just going along with Kevin’s statement.

“Billy, you’re one of my best friends. I love you like a brother. There is nothing you could do or say to change that. There’s nothing different about you now... nothing has changed between ten minutes ago and now, so Nah… no issues here,” I replied. But I decided to take it one step further... I walked up to him and gave him a big hug.

Holding him felt totally awesome. I so wanted to kiss him, but I was too chicken. I told him I love him like a brother, but my feelings for him go way beyond that. Billy would be the perfect boyfriend. He’s gorgeous, his personality and mine mesh, like totally. Every time he smiles it warms my heart, but when he’s sad, I feel so down it hurts.

I guess I hugged him too long because Kevin jokingly said, “Jeeze, get a room if you guys wanna be all cuddly and shit.”

I parted from Billy and I guess I blushed. He looked into my eyes and I could tell... he knew. He looked at me again and said, “Go on, Ronnie, I won’t be mad if you do.”

I looked at him and realized he’d just given me permission. Permission to come out with him. I wondered how Kevin would feel... his two best friends coming out at the same time. His two best friends both being gay. I was torn. My secret had been mine alone for so long it felt a part of me.

“What are you fucking talking about, Bill? You won’t be mad if he does what?” Kevin asked.

“I guess he wouldn’t be mad if I told you guys I was gay too,” I said, shooing the elephant in the room out the closet door.

Billy’s smile intensified. Kevin had a shocked look on his face. I... I was just embarrassed for some reason.

“Both of you? Is that even possible? I had my suspicions about Bill, but you Ronnie... I had no clue. Are you for reals?” Kevin asked, quite puzzled apparently.

“I’ve known for a while, but honestly, I was too scared to tell anyone. Especially since I have a total crush on one of you,” I said.

“Dude, you can’t tell me you have a crush on me! I mean that would be totally weird!” Kevin said, actual fear in his intonation.

“No, Kev... even though you’re totally hot and anybody would be really attracted to you, my crush is on Billy,” I said, taking Kevin off the hook... and hoping Billy would pick up on it and not be totally mad at me.

Kevin, visibly relieved said, “Whew... I was worried there for a bit. Honestly, I’m sort of weirded out by both of you dropping that particular bomb on me. I think you guys need to talk for a bit, and honestly, I don’t want to hear or see whatever you guys get up to. I’ll see ya tomorrow... I’m not mad... just a little freaked out.”

“I understand, Kev. I’m glad you’re not upset. You’ve been too good a friend to lose,” I said.

Kevin looked at both of us, shook his head and left.

I turned to Billy and saw the look in his eyes. “You really have a crush on me?” He asked.

“Dude, more than you can ever know. I’ve loved you in my head and heart for almost a year.” I was a little embarrassed about what I said next. “When I... you know... at night, when I’m in my bed, I imagine it was with you... or to you... or by you.”

He giggled at that last part, then came up to me and took me in his arms. Then he did something I’d hoped for... hoped and prayed for, for a long time... he kissed me.

His kiss was everything I’d hoped for. Everything I’d dreamed about... and more.

+ 6 months later +

Billy and I came out at school today. The risk was small since there’s only a week left until summer vacation. I can’t believe he and I have been a couple for six whole months. We’ve been intimate sure, but we’ve never gone... all the way. We’ve kissed and cuddled... a lot. I love cuddling with him. Both of our parents were cool when we told them we were boyfriends.

We got a few hassles at school when we came out, but Kevin was right there. A week or so after our big coming out, Kevin came to both of us and told us he was cool with everything. He said that there was a short time he couldn’t really handle his two best friends being gay, and lovers as well, but... he got over it. He realized that neither of us had ever ‘made any moves’ on him and knew we respected who he was. He also told us that once we come out at school, all the girls will flock to us. For some reason, girls like gay boys as friends... and... friends of gay boys who are straight have a better shot at the girls.

Leave it to Kevin to play all the angles.

Billy and I have decided that on my birthday in a week when I turn 15, he’s going to let me do him. You know... in the butt. I can’t think of a better birthday present... especially from someone, I love as much as I love Billy.

+ One Week Later +

OMG! That was amazing. Billy and I did the deed last night. It was a truly beautiful event. I went slow, mainly because I had no idea what to expect, and I didn’t want to hurt him in any way. I’d read on the internet how to properly prepare him and myself and took a long time getting up close and personal with his most private spot.

When I finally entered him, fireworks went off in my eyes. The sensations I was receiving were so amazing. I did him slowly, it took almost ten minutes before I unloaded into him... breeding him... making him my own.

After it was all done, I asked him if he wanted to reverse it and do me... he said, maybe on his birthday. I gave him the best blowjob I could think of instead. While we were laying on my bed, cuddling and making out after all the ‘fun’, he asked me a question... one I really had to think about: he asked, “Ronnie, you think we’ll make it? I mean, will we be together forever?”

I laid there thinking about his question. I know how I feel, but I don’t want to tell him that we’ll be together forever... we might go to different colleges or something. Instead, I told him, “Baby, if it is totally up to me in the future, I don’t want to spend it with anyone else. That earned me a smile and a kiss. I swear his tongue is long enough to reach all the way to my stomach!

+ Twenty Years Later +

Kevin came by yesterday, he brought one of his sons, Marlin. The boy was about thirteen. He asked if we could talk to his son because his son came to him last night to tell his Dad that he thinks he’s gay.

Kevin kept in touch over the years with Billy and me. We went to his wedding and Billy was his Best Man. His wife, Sarah, worked with Billy and that’s how Kevin met her. They fell in love and are about to celebrate their 14th anniversary. Marlin is their oldest boy, but they have three others. Brandon, who is eleven; Mikie, who is nine; and little Mattie, who’s six. I’m Godfather to all of them.

I had a long talk with Marlin and allowed him to ask his questions. After our talk, I think he knows he’s most likely gay. I hope his life turns out as wonderful as ours has.

[End]