The Apartment

Ray sat on the abandoned loading dock, wishing that things were different. He shivered in the early evening chill, his jean jacket inadequate protection from the breeze. 'If only...' he thought, but he wasn't willing to extend that thought to changes he would wish.

Abruptly he put those thoughts out of his head, and turned to what he could do. He was hungry, yeah, but he knew the money he had would have to stretch, and he could hold out a little longer before spending what he must for something to stave off the hunger pangs a while longer.

Then there was sleep, what to do tonight. The recess with the fire door would have to serve, he thought. He sure couldn't afford a motel room! He regretted spending the money for one the first couple of nights. He shook his light brown hair out of his eyes, and wished again he'd grabbed a cap when he took off.

He wasn't ready to risk shoplifting yet, though he realized it was probably only a matter of time before he would be reduced to doing it. He resolutely put out of his mind the way those men had looked at him, as if he was a thing on a shelf for sale, something they wanted ... but not before his mind reminded him of Tommy, and he felt the swelling down there ... the one he regretted giving in to, more than anything else about his sucky life.

A rustling off to his left interrupted his reverie. Another kid, a bit older than him, was walking down the alley ... with an air of assurance, like he owned it or something. Ray tensed. He didn't want confrontation, he didn't want a fight ... all he wanted to do was survive, live through another night and another day. But it looked like he might have no choice.

The new kid was wearing a red quilted jacket, not brand new but not badly worn either, fleece pants and hightops. A cap with a symbol on it he didn't recognize sat above honey blond hair, and a face he might have called cute, at least to himself, before all this: large warm brown eyes, a prominent nose, and cupid's-bow lips. Ray guessed his age at 14, a year older than himself. Oddly, the kid looked a little nervous.

"Hey, what's up?" the kid asked with an air of studied nonchalance as he arrived in front of the loading dock and stopped.

"Uh, not much," Ray answered guardedly.

"Just hangin' out?" the other kid asked, easily slipping up onto the dock about six feet from Ray and sitting.

"Yeah," Ray answered briefly, wondering what the kid was up to.

"You've been hangin' around down here a lot," the kid said. "I noticed; I make it my business to notice." Ray tensed up, 'fight or flight' taking possession of him.

"So?" Ray asked, trying to draw things out as long as he could before he had to make a move.

"So nothin'." the kid answered casually. "My name's Andy, by the way. Just makin' conversation, basically." He paused. "You're a runner, right?" he asked abruptly.

"What? Um, uh..." Ray wasn't ready to talk about that, and definitely not with a stranger.

"Hey, chill," Andy said. "Move your finger off the panic button, dude! I was just figurin', unless you've got some agenda that involves sitting around in the cold in the same outfit every day, you must've ran, like me and my bros." He in turn tensed a bit; this part was never easy; there were too many creeps out, with their own best interests foremost, for anyone to trust anyone else.

"You ran, too?" Ray was leery of where this was going, but he calmed slightly.

"Yeah. Had to ... just like you, I'll bet," Andy said. The funny thing was, he wasn't belligerent, he wasn't challenging, he wasn't looking down his nose, and he didn't seem to be snooping, just talking. Ray let down his guard a fraction more, still tense but not quite as much so. But he stayed silent.

"Not my business why," Andy said. "You had your reasons; so did I. And so did my bros. You'll tell me if and when you're ready to, and not before. That's cool." He drew a deep breath; now came the tough part.

"Anyway, Peewee, Jack, and I was comparing notes, and all three of us have seen you hangin' out. We all came to the same conclusions: you're a runner, and you're not trouble." Another pause. "So we called a House Meeting."

Ray's curiosity was up now. He was still ready to run, or to fight if he had to, but he figured he needed to hear what Andy was on about.

"Anyway, we talked it over, and we decided we could take a risk with you. So I agreed to make first contact." His expression changed. "Damn! I'm fucking this up; I'm sorry."

'Huh?' went through Ray's mind. 'What's he sorry about? In fact, what's he talking about?'

"Let me start over." Andy was ... well, maybe backtracking was the right word. Whatever it was, was important to him to get right, and he clearly thought he'd screwed up.

"Look, there's seven of us, all guys who just had to get away. If this works, you'll hear why; it's not my business to tell. We've got a..." Andy broke off, fishing for words. "I don't know what you'd call it. We got a decent place to stay, together, and we look out for each other, make sure nobody fucks with any of us. You know, like friends." He paused again, nervous now. "Anyway, we agreed you're probably in the same boat we were, and I said I'd talk to you, see if you might want to, you know...."

Ray was on his guard now. Offers that sounded too good to be true, usually were. He'd learned that the hard way. "What would I have to do?"

"Um, take care of yourself, help us take care of each other. Agree to live by the house rules, after you've heard them. And they're ours, we can change them, and you'd have a voice in that, so it's not like grownups laying down the law to us, it's stuff we agreed on, to protect ourselves and each other." Andy was talking fast now.

"What's in it for you?" Ray asked.

"Um, one more guy to be a part of us, help the others." Andy was jittery; he knew that fear. "Put it this way; if you and some friends had a good deal, wouldn't you try to help somebody else that looked like he needed it?"

"Well, yeah, but..." Ray was cautious.

"That's what we're doing." Andy felt a little more confident now; this was familiar ground. "Look, when Donny approached me, my first thought was, what's in it for him? What kind of scam is he trying to pull? And inside, that's just what you're thinking; right?"

"Umm... yeah!" Ray was startled enough to be frank.

"No prob," Andy said. "All the guys have been there, where you are. We thought you deserved a chance, just like we got, that's all. You can be as paranoid as you like. Everybody'll understand. Trusting somebody's risky, after what we've been through. Remember, we're gambling you're not a creep, too."

Andy's tone changed. "Okay, I made you the offer. You're free to back away from it, or turn and run at any time. The one thing we ask is, if you do come with me, you give your word not to let on to anyone where we stay � same thing you'd expect from us, if the shoe was on the other foot." He slipped down off the loading dock. "I'm heading back now; it's effing cold out here. You're welcome to come with, to get warm for a bit, to have a place to sleep, or to stay, just as you decide. Nobody will stop you leaving if that's what you choose. I haven't got any way to guarantee that to you, nothing you'd be able to trust, but it's true."

He turned, walked away, stopped and turned around, said, "Well, seeya!" turned once again and began to walk away.

Ray sat there conflicted, skeptical and yet wanting to trust, to hope. A cold gust cut through his jean jacket. That decided him. "Hey, wait up!" he called out.

Andy stopped and looked back. "Sure!" he said, smiling.

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Out from the alley, down past warehouses closed for the night or closed for good, past the machine shop locked up for the night, past the old stone church, then past decaying old apartment buildings. They walked five blocks, or it might have been six; Ray wasn't sure.

Andy turned confidently down a walkway between two apartment buildings, ones that looked a little better taken care of than the ones they'd passed. A bit over halfway down the walkway, he turned to a door set in the wall to the right, opened the door, and motioned Ray in. Hesitantly, Ray walked inside, followed by Andy.

Inside was a hallway, looking fairly clean and passably lit, with walls bearing a few scuff marks but no graffiti or grime. Andy walked down the hall about 25 feet; Ray followed cautiously. There was a door on the left; Andy gave three sharp knocks, and called out, "It's Andy ... and Ray!" A second later, there was a click from inside, and Andy opened the door, gesturing Ray in with a smile.

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The apartment was not what Ray expected at all. It wasn't neat ... seven boys living together without adults saw to that. But it wasn't a total mess, and it was fairly nice-looking, much more so than Ray expected. Nicer, in fact, than the home he'd left. To the right of the door were several coathooks, with coats and jackets hung on them. To the left, a short wall and then it opened into a roomy living room, with old but decent looking couches and chairs. A TV sat on a stand in one corner.

To the right, a doorway opened into a kitchen, with a decent-looking refrigerator and gas range, counters with a microwave and coffee maker on them, and a rectangular red-and-white metal table with four chairs that matched. A fifth one, which didn't, sat off at the end of a counter. Doors led off the living room and kitchen, to what were evidently bedrooms and a bathroom. But what hit Ray hard was the odor – the scent of spaghetti sauce cooking on the stove.

Three guys were sitting around the living room, one finishing a plate of spaghetti and two watching the TV. The one with the plate, a dark-haired older teen, skinny and with glasses, got up with a smile. "Hey ...Ray?" he said. "C'mon in. Hungry?"

"That's Donny," Andy told Ray. "He's the oldest of us."

Donny ushered Ray into the kitchen, handed him a plate, forked some spaghetti onto it from a colander sitting in the sink, and ladled up some sauce from a pan on the stove. "Salt and pepper over there," he said, gesturing. "I'll get the grated cheese for you soon's I've given you enough sauce. Say when!"

Ray said 'when' after the second ladleful, accepted the grated cheese and gave a couple of shakes onto his plateful.

"Take as much as you want," Donny said. "Sorry there's no salad; Mikey ate the last of it before Andy got back with you. He and I are the only ones who like salad much, so we don't always have it on hand." He pulled a thick slice of Italian bread out of the refrigerator, buttered it, and set it alongside Ray's plate.

"Oops!" said Andy, moving away from the doorway leading from the kitchen to the living room and entrance.

"What'd I tell you?" Danny said. "Every one of us was nervous his first time here. Don't make Ray afraid we're going to try to force him to stay or anything."

"Yeah, I know," Andy said. "I just forgot. Sorry, Ray!"

"Huh?" Ray knew it made him sound dorky, but he was honestly confused about the turn the conversation had taken.

"It's like this, Ray," Donny said. "We lucked out with this place, and every one of us has been where you were – on the streets. We all learned the hard way that there's a danger in trusting anyone, and we brought that here. So our working rule is, whenever somebody comes here, the only way we try to stop them leaving is by talking. Right down to the goof-up Andy did – he shouldn't have stood between you and the door, in case you get spooked."

"I really want him to stay!" Andy said.

"Then talk him into it," Donny replied. "Show him the place, fill him in on what we do. You know what's off limits; convince him it's safe. You want me, or Mikey or Peewee, we'll be available. The other guys should be back later, if he wants to meet them." He turned to Ray. "You're welcome here, for an hour, a night, or as long as you want to stay. As I hope Andy already told you, the only thing we ask is that you keep the fact we have this place to yourself – unless you decide to stay, and we all agree to invite someone else home, the way we did you. Can I have your word on that?"

"Uh, sure!" Ray said around a mouthful of spaghetti.

"Eat up!" Donny said. "You want me, I'll be in the other room."

"Want some milk?" Andy asked. "We're out of Pepsi again."

"Yeah," Ray agreed. The food was making him realize how hungry he had been even as it sated his hunger. Andy poured him a large glass of milk, which he accepted gratefully and drank.

"Want company, or be left alone while you eat?" Andy asked, a hint of nervousness creeping into his expression.

"'Ay" Ray said, his mouth full again. He clarified his meaning with a gesture at one of the chairs.

Andy sat down. "You've got questions, I bet," he said. "Go for 'em."

"Ray was taken aback. "Okay. How many live here?"

"Seven guys, plus you if you agree to stay. Donny's the oldest, Peewee the youngest. He's the one you saw flopped in the chair in there."

"No adults?"

"Nope, we're all street kids."

"How can you afford this place?"

"That's one of the questions that's off limits," Andy said. "There's only two, really: how anybody got here and why they ended up on the street is their private business. They'll volunteer the information if they trust you, but we don't pry. The other one is how Donny worked this deal, to get us this place. He takes off for the night every couple of weeks; we think that has something to do with it, but nobody knows for sure, and Donny won't tell."

"What's it cost me to live here ... if I do decide to?"

"No fixed amount. Everybody kicks in when they can, for the occasional treat, like ordering out for a pizza. Donny and Jack have food stamps cases, and won't say how they got them, but they pick up food for the house, and we always have enough, though occasionally the menu choices are limited. If you've got a way to get money, fine; if you don't, well, don't worry about that now. You don't have to pay to stay, that's what matters."

Ray was finishing his plate, mopping up the last of the spaghetti sauce with the remnant of the bread. "Want some more?" Andy asked.

Ray burped and blushed. "Excuse me!" he said. "That was filling ... but do you think I could have some more later?" He was a bit nervous asking, but that was so good, and he'd been so hungry ... and so cold, he realized suddenly that he was warm and comfortable.

Andy grinned. "Good, huh? Sure, more whenever you want it, or we'll probably make some popcorn tonight. If you're done, rinse down your plate and fork over there and put them in the drainer." He grinned. "Want to see the rest of the place?"

"Yeah," Ray said, beginning to warm to the idea of staying.

"Cool, come with me." And Andy was up on his feet, anxious to show Ray around.

The bathroom was the first stop. It was impressive: a large tub, separate shower stall, small sink, toilet and urinal. "With seven guys, you sometimes need it," Andy said laughing. The rest was anticlimactic: three bedrooms, each with two single beds. The largest room had another toilet and basin in a small room off it. "We can fit another bed in here with a little rearrangement," Andy said. Another door opened off the end of the short hall separating two bedrooms. "Back door," Andy commented. "We don't use it much."

They walked back into the living room, to find Peewee laughing at the TV. Donny and the other boy, a redhead, were at the kitchen table. "Just starting a game of rummy; you two want to play?"

Andy looked at Ray, clearly deferring the decision to him. "No, thanks," Ray said, "but thanks for offering. Okay if I just hang out in the living room for a while?"

"I told you, you're welcome here, for as long as you want to stay," Donny said. "Do you have to ask permission to use your own living room?" Ray's thoughts went, unbidden, to his stepfather and his rules. His face tightened; Andy noticed. "Bad question, Donny," he cautioned.

"Sorry, dude," Donny said. "'Off limits' applies to you, too; I shouldn't have asked it that way. Sure, chill out as long as you want, wherever you want. D'you show him a bed, Andy?"

"Not exactly," Andy said, blushing. "Ray, my room's the one with the tan walls. You've got the other bed in there if you stay."

"Go easy, dude," Mikey said to Andy, who blushed and nodded.

"I think I'd like to stay, if you'll have me," Ray said, nervousness giving way to confidence.

"Good, you're part of us now, then," Andy said, clearly relieved.

"Just like that?" Ray asked.

"Well, we could have an initiation ceremony, with incense and blood brother rituals, if it'll make you feel more at home," Donny said with a grin. "But yeah, just like that. You need a place to stay, or that's what we're guessing, and we need a Ray to be a part of us. Now go watch TV, or take a shower, or whatever you want to do, or sit down and let me beat you at rummy."

Ray walked into the living room and sat down at one end of a couch. Andy sat down next to him. He turned his attention to the TV, realizing he was feeling something he hadn't felt for years – he was home.

To be continued...

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Editor's Notes: Well, well, well! I do believe we have ourselves a winner here. I find myself already hooked, and ready for more!

Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher